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No Spain, No Gain.

on August 27, 2012
Monday morning and back to school. The sick feeling I would feel on Sunday evening’s before school starts, happens here. Starting my third week – I know what is coming. The weekend has been and gone and I found some relief. No talking and no therapy sessions! We went to the beach Saturday morning, and although I’m still not allowed to walk, I didn’t mind so much this time. As I sat looking at the ocean, a school of dolphins were playing – they looked carefree and full of spirit. I love looking at the ocean – something so majestic about it… beautiful but daunting at the same time. 
Each week we are given home-work assignments to complete. I’ve been a little slow at getting on with mine. During the week I’m exhausted and run out of steam to do anything else, so yesterday, I thought I need to get my finger out and crack on with my life map. I want it to be perfect of course, so have been deliberating over how to do it since it was given to me. There is no right or wrong way, but I still want it to be ‘good enough’. I have done more arts and crafts here than I did in my entire GCSE art class. I borrowed a friends iPod, stuck on Whitney Houston and got messy – loved it. It’s still not finished but at least I have made a start.
In the afternoon we went to a nail bar – I had been looking forward to this all week. My hands and toes have been crying out for some love. I was directed to the 3 cabinets full of nail varnish to choose a colour. I’ve noticed something about me since being here – I struggle with things being permanent in case I don’t like it and want to change it. I scanned all the colours several times before picking up a pinky-purple one. I love the names that are given to nail varnish – what a brilliant job that would be. I turned it over and it read… “No Spain, No gain”! This colour had chosen me. Only that morning I’d been talking with one of the other girls – comforting each other that this period in our life was short in comparison to the rest of the time we hopefully have left on this planet. We both agreed that even though this path seems to be never-ending and full of obstacles – we have to go through short-term pain, for long-term gain. You probably all know by now that Spain is a special place to me, so as I handed over my nail varnish to the lady who had the privilege of bringing my trotters back to life – I smiled inside.
As Monday morning starts, I look back over the weekend with some light. I got through my meals without supplementing and I’m still here. I feel gratitude towards my peers and staff for helping me and am grateful for the stunning sunset we saw over the mountains last night. I also just had a lovely chat with my special sis and spoke to my cute nephews… I even got a kiss blown down the phone by the youngest one. Bonus! 

2 responses to “No Spain, No Gain.

  1. Muriel says:

    Yet again I am fascinated by your blog. I feel a glimmer of light in it Laura. One day at a time and you will be nearer your goal. Love x

  2. Sandra White says:

    Baby steps are the way forward dear Laura. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it will take time to get back to a normal way of living. You are a wonderful spirit, allowing us this insight into your life. I thank you for that priviledge, and send so many hugs and good wishes to you.

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