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‘Super Tuesday’

on October 17, 2012

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves,” Edna Buchanan 

Eight words that have never meant so much to me. Today has been ‘Super Tuesday’. After a rough ride yesterday, what greeted me when I returned from lunch felt like nothing short of a miracle. A massive box of goodies from my friends back home. The excitement that washed over me as I ripped off the sticky tape, was overwhelming – Christmas had come early! As I delved inside my eyes watered up and my palms started to become sticky. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. 

I spent most of my school days feeling like a piece of missing jigsaw – alone and unable to find the rest of the pieces to make me whole. I always felt an inner sense of loneliness, a burning desire to fit in and be loved. Today I found the missing piece. I felt totally complete. It may sound strange, but I honestly don’t think I will ever forget the feeling I felt today as I read each note and opened each gift that had been sent to me. 

The gift of friendship is something extra special. It’s not something to be taken for granted – it is not a given. Family will for the most part always be there, but friends do not have to stay with you. What makes friendship extra special though is that it works both ways. You get to choose your friends. For all of you back home, I would choose you again and again. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully articulate what today meant to me. I will never be able to thank you all for what you did. The thought, time and energy that went into my box of tricks has touched me more than you will all ever know. You are the family I would choose. I cannot wait until I am home. I can’t wait to see you all and to thank you in person. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive,” Anaïs Nin wrote. All of you are unique in your own way and each of you have have added a richness to my life that only variety can bring. Thank you.

Something that I am learning here, is to be at peace with myself – to accept me as I am. No more, no less. Starting from a solid foundation of self-love is the ingredient to a tasty, satisfying life. How nice would it be to feel ’enough’, new curves and all. We are all so many things, yet my illness has robbed me of my soul. My life before coming here had become a numerical nightmare of weighing scales, and calorie contents. How dull is that? My dietician back home used to tell me that the only thing scales were good for were fish! I am slowly beginning to realise that I am more than a number. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, someone who loves to paddle in the sea, to feel grass between my feet, the smell of clean sheets, galloping through the fields on my horse, the stars in the midnight sky. I also accept that I am inpatient, crave love and attention, have a tendency to isolate, controlling. I am loyal to the bone, caring and compassionate and have an overwhelming need to be accepted. I am much more and that is exciting. What my work here needs to concentrate on this week is accepting that I am enough. 

One of my special friends sent me a card in my box of treats that summed up just what I am feeling – I think it is beautiful. I added the ‘man’ part as it works for the boys too! 

I AM ENOUGH. I am full of sparkle and compassion. I genuinely want to make the world a better place. I love hard. I practice kindness. I am not afraid of the truth. I am loyal, adventurous, supportive, and surprising. I am a woman/man. I am enough. I make mistakes, but I owe them and learn from them. Sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.” Molly Mahar”

Before I go, I want to thank all my wonderful friends for my cards and gifts. I love my rocking beats, and the artwork on the CD cover is brilliant. My ‘Mini-hottie’ hand-warmer is perfect – it will be getting chillier here soon and I always wanted to be called a ‘hottie’! My hair is so thankful, the pharmacy here does not offer a nearly good enough range of shampoos. I totally love my horse-shoe necklace and am confident it will bring me good luck. My fan is brilliant – the temperature is still sweltering during the day and my thimble is sooo cute. The love-hearts have gone in my candy bin. They call chocolate candy here, and we’re allowed a piece after meals, so I will eat my hearts and think of you. (You know who you are)! My gorgeous handmade lighthouse card and beautiful embroidered horse heart. My little indian is adorable – I’m so touched that he came all the way from India, I will keep him safe. My heart necklace is gorgeous. My smellies are scrummy yummy! My cute mirror and a postcard that arrived all the way from vietnam. I have been spoilt rotten! I apologise for not naming you individually, but I’m aware that not everyone appreciates the open forum of blogging. Anyhow thank you, I truly can’t wait to see you all! 

I also want to thank all those who took part in the charity golf day on Saturday. Julia who organised it, my special bro, brother-in-law, Scott and step-dad to be, and all the supporters. You are so special to me and are keeping motivated.

As you can tell I have EXTRA special friends and family back home. You all mean the world to me, and until I can thank you in person, please know that I am sending a gigantic bundle of gratitude across the seas. THANK YOU all for being my inspiration. xxxx

 

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4 responses to “‘Super Tuesday’

  1. janetrit says:

    How ABSOLUTELY wonderful xxxx

  2. Muriel says:

    What a wonderful surprise and how thoughtful of your friends. I am so pleased that at last you are realising that so many love you for who you are. Keep up the good work x

  3. ruby tuesday says:

    You sound like you have amazing friends, treasure them.
    I’m afraid I pushed all my friends away due to my illness.
    Did that happen to you?
    I want them back so much but I’m so very afraid.
    Reading this made me miss them even more.
    Do you have any advice?

    Lovely post x

  4. linda marchant says:

    Hi Laura, thewonderful gifts from your friends certainly perked you up and what a fantastic box to receive!! Other peoples love can be a strong reminder that actually we’re ok – we must be if they love us that much! Just keep on doing what you’re doing, your progress is fantastic and you are a strong and brave girl – and with the support of your fabulous friends too there isnt anything you cant achieve. xxx

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